the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
