rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
