And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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