question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
