Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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