we're chasing vodka with high fives
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
