yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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