What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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