im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
