Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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