She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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