she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
