you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
