The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
