apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
