I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
