He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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