I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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