I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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