You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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