Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
