yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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