What a fucking waste of an outfit
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
