ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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