I bet he comes in French.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
