If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
