not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Less talking, more tequila
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
