So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
