As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
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