So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
