so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
