THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
