I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
