I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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