Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Randomize
