she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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