I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
ugly people sure do ruin things
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
