I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
