also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
