Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
