the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
