I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
