So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
