I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
