He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Vodka?
Forever.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
