I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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