hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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