You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
