I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
