If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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