I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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