Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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