if you like me you must not know who I am
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
NoShamevember. You game?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
